A geek's ramblings about life and stuff.
Posts tagged God
Gremlins #NovemberBlogFest
03 months ago
Today we got hit with all kinds of tech gremlins.
It wasn’t fun.
But God is good and I don’t think many people noticed.
His Word was still preached.
His Name was still praised.
What am I so upset about?
i
Pride #NovemberBlogFest
03 months ago
I’m knocking this one out early since I woke up thinking about it.
I’m prideful.
Not about everything. But enough. I have no problem asking God for guidance on how to handle a specific situation or for a need I might have that is out of my control. But when it comes to something that I “should” know or “should” be able to figure out, my pride gets in the way.
As an example, I need to recruit and train new audio volunteers. I’ve asked God for an idea on how to recruit more techs, but why didn’t I just ask God for the actual techs themselves? Wouldn’t that be easier? I guess I have to feel like I recruited them myself. Am I insane?? I could never do this by myself! So why does my pride control me? How do I get past this roadblock? Do I ask God to deal with my pride? I’m too prideful to ask God for that kind of help. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I just get over myself and ask for help?
Okay, here goes:
God, I'm prideful. We both know that. Well, you knew it before I did. How do I let go of my pride? How do I let you take it from me? I'm afraid I'll feel less like I'm able to do what I need to do if I don't do it myself. I want to let it go, but I don't know how. God, take this stupid pride from me! I can't do any of this on my own. You give me all I need and then some. You are my provider. I'm scared to give up another area of "control." But I have to. I have to if I'm going to say I rely on you for everything. Right now I rely on you for some. Change my 'some' to 'everything.' Break me of this, God. Thank you, Jesus. Amen
It might be a small step, but it is a step, right?
i
Clean #NovemberBlogFest
03 months ago
Pastor Matt kickpunched me with the truth.
I don’t have my crap together.
I have a secret thought life.
I don’t feel clean.
But thankfully, I am clean.
You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. John 15:3
Jesus cleans me.
He’s not afraid of the filth that is my mind.
He touched lepers and prostitutes.
How do I take my thoughts captive and surrender them to Him?
i
God is able #NovemberBlogFest
03 months ago
I was driving down the 215 freeway today and thinking about some things that have been on my mind lately (see here). Several of those thoughts started to stress me out.
You see, I worry about things.
I’m afraid of the unknown.
Fear of what I don’t know or can’t control freaks me out.
But then a song came on. You may have heard it before. It’s called “God is Able” and it’s off of one of Hillsong Live’s albums.
Starting with the second verse, the lyrics go:
God is with us God is on our side He will make a way Far above all we know Far above all we hope He has done great things
Hearing that song made me feel better. Our God is a powerful God. He defeated the grave. He will never leave us. He will never fail us. So if I’m honest with myself, what do I have to worry about that he hasn’t already taken care of?
-i
I’m going to need to start packing…
0
Because I signed a lease on an apartment today! That’s right, just a couple miles from Sandals and about 15 minutes from Emma. This is going to be awesome!
Or is it?
You see, Andrea had recently got approved for and purchased a house. She got moved in and is in the process of getting settled. She showed me the house when I went to see Emma. It’s a nice little place. A perfect starter home.
And it bums me out.
When we were together, we had talked of owning a house and having a real home. Now she’s got the house and I’m stuck renting. And after I had left, I was venting my frustration in the car to God. Then it hit me: I really have it good right now. I’m going to be living much closer to my daughter, I am going to be moving into a great new apartment and I’m the technical director at one of the coolest churches in Riverside.
Not only do I have some truly great friends, but the network of support I have from fellow TDs is amazing.
I’ve been blessed with being able to work alongside some of the most gifted people at Coast: Mike Sessler, Mark Cullen, Todd Gorton and Ken Hammond (there are plenty more, but these are the guys I worked with the closest). And I can’t forget, the awesome volunteers in our tech team. I’m really going to miss hanging out with Thomas and Daniel and teasing Thomas about the Jands Vista.
I will miss seeing the friends I’ve made down here: The Hammonds, the Sesslers and the Stocktons are some cool cat! (PS, when is Porkapalooza happening again??)
But now, this new chapter of my life brings new friends and new challenges. I will get to work with another group of awesomely talented people. (Awesomely talented? Is that even grammatically correct?) I feel like the last year of my life, God was preparing me for this and for what is to come.
So to go back to my question: yes, this is going to be awesome.
-i
Out of the frying pan, into the fire
1Where do I even start?
Two months ago, I felt God telling me I need to spend more time with my daughter. I wasn’t sure how I would make that happen, I just knew that one night per week wasn’t cutting it. Not to mention the fact that when she gets older and starts after-school programs I probably wouldn’t be able to attend.
The thought of that broke my heart.
My little girl is too important to me to not be a bigger part of her life.
Something had to give.
Something had to change.
I had to change.
I knew Andrea would never move to the OC so that left me with only one choice: move back to Riverside.
So as of today, I accepted the position of Production Associate at Sandals Church.
It’s been something that’s been on my heart and on my mind for the better part of two months now and it’s something that I have to do.
It’s definitely a bitter-sweet feeling and a decision I didn’t make lightly.
I will miss seeing all my friends I’ve made over the past year in Orange County, but I’m also very excited to see what the future holds for me.
It’s been an absolute pleasure being able to work with and for Mike, Todd, Mark and everyone else at Coast. Coast Hills has been blessed with some of the most caring, talented and friendly people I have ever known and I will truly miss seeing them every day.
So even though exsaded (excited/sad), this will be a very good thing for me and for my daughter.
Going forward, I’m going to need to find a new place to live and/or a roommate in Riverside. If you can please keep that in your prayers for me, I would very much appreciate it.
Well, that’s about it for now. I’ll keep you all updated as things progress.
-i
My Prayer of Thankfulness
1Dang! I did it again…
I’ve tried to get away from putting “My” in front of every blog title.
But my C.D.O. (that’s O.C.D. in alphabetical order…) makes me want everything to be consistent.
I hate that.
Anyways, moving on…
UNITE: An Evening of Worship and Prayer
Wednesday night at Coast Hills was UNITE: An Evening of Worship and Prayer and it was off the hook! The whole band and vocalists really brought the BOOMSAUCE!!
It’s so amazing to be able to come together as a church body and just focus on singing praises to God and worshipping him.
That night was very special to me as it was the first time I’ve run FOH (Front Of House. AKA, the sound board) for such a big event.
I can’t even begin to put into words how it felt to be used by God to help lead His people in worship. I literally got chills when at one point during the evening, I was looking down and making some tweaks to the mix and when I looked up everybody in the room had their hands raised and was singing out to God.
It was powerful.
Even now, I’m listening to the recording of the board mix leaves me speechless.
I can’t believe that I get to be a part of this!!
Please don’t think I’m blowing my own horn here.
The recoding isn’t perfect or anywhere close to it.
In fact, I think I made the vocal fx a little too wet during Your Great Name.
And the piano is a bit loud on Rhythms of Grace.
The fact that the mix isn’t perfect is proof that it isn’t about me.
God was worshipped and His name praised in spite of human error.
I know, I’m shocked too… 
But I’ll tell you what: hearing the vocalists sing and the band play, all of them pouring their hearts out and genuinely worshiping and praising God is truly awe-inspiring!
A year ago, I would never have guessed that God could use me in this way. If you would have told me what I would be doing and who I would be working with I would have thought they you crazy.
I am honestly and truly blessed beyond belief and have to pinch myself sometimes! I can’t stop raving about the team and people I get to work with. They’re some of the most talented and humble people I’ve ever met.
But what really touched me the most,
What punched me in the gut and took my breath away,
Was when I looked out at the audience during Stronger and I see my dad worshiping his face off.
I lost it.
How couldn’t I?
To see the man who I look up to looking up to God and surrendering himself broke me.
Throughout the evening we also had several times of prayer.
Time of prayer during UNITE
During one time in particular, Pastor Ken asked us all to reflect and pray and just be thankful for all that God has provided and done in our lives.
It was humbling to to really think about all that I do have going for me. It’s really my human/sin/selfish nature that allows me to dwell on everything I don’t have. I should be thankful for everything I do have! After all, I have a beautiful daughter, a great job that I love, I work with amazing/fantastic people, I have parents who love me, friends and family who are always by my side and I’m relatively healthy.
I have a lot of great things going for me.
Yet I somehow manage to always focus on the negative.
No more! From now on I will be thankful for what I have and no longer think about what I don’t.
Which, by the way, I have something else to be thankful for: a place to live in Aliso Viejo!
No more driving 40 miles a day for me!!
Looks like I’ll be moving as early as next week. w00t!
Alright, I suppose I should get to bed.
-i
Changing Seasons…
0It looks like that things might be changing soon for me.
In a good way.
Aliso Veijo
I may have an opportunity to move to the OC and be much closer to work.
And by much closer I mean about a mile away.
Which is 39 miles closer than I drive now.
Which will save me an hour and twenty minutes per day!
If everything works out, and God willing, I’ll be renting a room from a family that I know at church.
The place looks great.
They’re cool with Emma.
It’s super close to work.
Even though I’m excited to be closer to work and I’ll be able to save a ton of money on gas and vehicle maintenance, I’m still nervous.
Nervous on what the future looks like.
I’ve gotten so used to feeling like I’m a part of the Snyder family that it’s going to feel like I’m moving away from home for the third time.
What if Emma doesn’t get along with them?
What it just doesn’t work out?
It’s also a bit more than I’d hoped to be paying for rent (I guess that’s part of the tradeoff of living in Aliso Viejo).
And thanks to having to change my filing status Uncle Same decided he wanted an extra 15% of my income.
So I need to do some number-crunching and see if I can really swing this.
Along with moving, I’ve finally decided to sell both my vehicles and get a newer car. I’m hoping for something like a 2008 (or newer) Honda Accord or Hyundai or Kia. So if you or someone you know is interested in a ’89 V6 Toyota Pickup or a ’01 Mercury Sable, let me know!!
And in other news…
Tomorrow night is UNITE: An Evening of Worship and I’ll be running FOH for it.
I’m excited!
And a little nervous.
From a technical standpoint this is going to be more complex than our Easter service.
But after looking at who we have on stage and the songs that they’ll be doing , I’m pretty pumped that I get to do this!
So if you’re in the area tomorrow evening, come on down to Coast Hills and hang out with us!
Well, that’s all I got for now. Finally some good news in what has been kind of a dark time for me!
Thank you all for your continued prayers and words of encouragement.
You have no idea how much it means to me!!
-i
My Footprints
0I know it’s an old poem, but a close friend of mine posted it on my Facebook wall and it just seems to fit with what I’m feeling right now.
One night I dreamed a dream.
I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to me and one to my Lord.
When the last scene of my life shot before me I looked back at the footprints in the sand. There was only one set of footprints. I realized that this was at the lowest and saddest times of my life. This always bothered me and I questioned the Lord about my dilemma.
“Lord, You told me when I decided to follow You, You would walk and talk with me all the way. But I’m aware that during the most troublesome times of my life there is only one set of footprints. I just don’t understand why, when I need You most, You leave me.”
He whispered, “My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you.”
My Emotional Roller-coaster
0
A scene from our Good Friday service
Wow, what a week!
I can’t believe how crazy the past seven days were.
It started with last Monday totally sucking and ended with today being pretty normal.
As I type this, I’m sitting next to Emma in my room while she watches Tangled (again) and I reflect on the past week…
Monday I had my heart broken.
Tuesday was the first of four 12+ hour work days.
Our Good Friday service wrecked me.
Saturday and Sunday we did five Easter services.
And today I had to go into work again to finish cleaning the stage.
That’s a lot of stuff going on in just seven days.
When I finally got home Sunday afternoon, I went into my room, shut the door, dropped my bags, plopped down in my easy chair and took a deep breath.
Then it hit me.
I blame it on exhaustion.
But whatever caused it, I had a bit of a mental breakdown.
I’m serious, I totally lost it.
I began to weep uncontrollably.
I felt so alone.
Luckily, the weeping only lasted a minute or so. That’s usually how it works for me. Emotions like that will usually build and build and then they’ll just break free and I’ll have a good cry for about a minute then I’m good to go. Probably not the healthiest way to handle things, right? I mean the build-up of emotions. What if it was anger? Would I just snap one time? Anyways, that’s for another post…
So on a day where we’re supposed to be celebrating the resurrection of our Savior, here I am in a total “woe is me” mood. How selfish am I??
Regardless of whether or not those thoughts/feelings were justified, it doesn’t make them easier to handle. I guess all of the emotions from the week plus being dead tired had finally caught up to me.
Even today I still felt “off.” I know I still feel tired. But I feel alone more than ever now. Maybe it’s just Satan trying to get to me after working so hard to tell Jesus’ story over the weekend?
Either way, I still feel incredibly blessed to be on staff at such a great church and to get to serve alongside some of the most amazing people I know. It was truly an honor to work with everyone involved with the Good Friday and Easter services at Coast Hills.
-i
