So as I’m sure will become apparent the more you read this blog, life is a little crazy for me right now.

I get to have my daughter two days per week. I wish I could see her more, but with the way my schedule is and what time I get home from work it just doesn’t happen. I’m hoping to get into a routine and be able to see her maybe for an hour or two Thursday or Friday night. We shall see…

So on Mondays and Tuesdays (the days I get Emma and also my days off) I have to figure out how to raise a gorgeous little girl. Can I be honest? I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m scared. I struggle every day trying to figure it out. I love her so much, but how do I make sure she knows it? I don’t expect to be perfect. I don’t even expect to be great. I just pray that I can be the father to Emma that God has called me to be.

Isn't she the cutest?

Emma and Trigger

My divorce isn’t final yet. I don’t even know if it’s officially started. And even though my impatient nature wants all this to be behind me, I hope that there will never be a divorce. Emma doesn’t deserve what’s being forced on her. She deserves to have two parents who love her and each other. Yes, both her mother and I have made our mistakes. We’ve made bad decisions. We’ve done stupid things. We’ve been selfish. But I think that given the chance and the effort, we can put our marriage and our family back together (and by ‘we’ I mean God. Just to clear that up. He’s the only one that can do it right now).

When I look down this path that we’re on I don’t like it one bit. When I sit down and think of everything that goes along with a divorce, isn’t it just easier to reconcile?

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe Andrea and I were never supposed to get married in the first place. I just don’t know. But either way, God has blessed us with the most beautiful and amazing little girl that I have ever seen.